Random Joy...

Well, when you've been kicked, it's hard some days to find the joy. After learning our car is terminal over the weekend I've been struggling with my usual cheery disposition (really, I am the optimist in this house, believe it or not!).

Over the weekend we went to the movies - $40 gone. I remembered I still have to buy a present for my nephew when I thought I was done with Christmas presents (looking at another $10 there at least). I have the expense of Christmast dinner (ham is EXPENSIVE!! Sheesh! And I thought our turkey breasts at T-day were bad)...and other random things. I'm looking at our currently stable savings (small though it is) and trying to figure out how long it has left to live. At this point I'm figuring 1 - maybe 2 - weeks before it's DOA.

Erik calls from work says he's going to pay on his account at work (he works for a water purification/water softener company - from which we regularly buy salt for our softener, and filters for our R/O)...and then take out $20 for his carpool buddy to help cover gas costs (he and I agreed $20/2wks)...and the $30 for my remaining Christmas presents.

In a panic, thinking of our cash levels, I pull up the account. I expect to see a certain moderate amount in our account (on hold until mortgage is paid on Friday)...instead I see $200 MORE than I expected.

Apparently Erik got a bonus at work. No one told him *lol*

So our random joy for today is a bonus!! It's not a huge one (not like the one he got two years ago, unfortunately), but it's bigger than last years crap...and enough to cover our date night this weekend, AND Christmas dinner!!

Now if UPS would show up with his present...and the other one would make it before Christmas I'll be totally joyous! (One gift was mailed standard USPS on Saturday...God willing it will get here before Christmas day!!)

CRAP....

Our car went BOOM.

Our ONLY car went boom.

Our only car to pick up daddy in tomorrow went boom.

Our only car to take Molly to preschool and pick up daddy in went boom.

Our only car to take Molly to preschool, K to her CF Clinic, and pick daddy up tomorrow went boom.

Have I said...

CRAP

Bring on the good news!!

Well, it looks like our Christmas, and our pocketbook have been saved! We don't physically have the money yet, but it has been withdrawn from DH's 401K. We can fix Dh's car now, and this means we can sell my car (this is bad and good) to CarMax, pay it off and get that bill, and the cost of insurance off our backs!! This translates into HUGE relief.

On top of that, our Christmas will be nice for the first time in 5 years. We can get our 'big' gift for Denver (space camp! Whee!), and a few others (It is SO hard to shop for a 10 year old boy, you know that?). We can round out the girls toys (right now they are primarily clothes)....AND...*gasp* BUY FOR EACH OTHER!!

AND, I can buy the supplies to make the girls holiday dresses...and purses for the rest of my fam (I'm still hoping mom's sweater will be knit in time...but just in case...hello pursy!).

We've been waiting on news for over a week on this! The thought of getting this money has been a glimmer of hope for us! We need it...and a good Christmas. It's been far too long! (Plus the added money every paycheck that he can't pay into his 401K will help, too).

Cutting Corners in Desperation...

Well, we are attempting to dip into DH's 401K now. If we get approval for the withdrawal, there will be positives and negatives to it.

Positive: We can take the car to CarMax and sell it, and have the money to cover the difference. I.E. We don't have to turn it in as a voluntary repo (which we have been considering)

Negative: We're taking money out of the 401K

Positive: We'll be able to catch up ALL of the bills.

NEgative: DH can't make ANY 401K contributions for 6 months after the withdrawal.

Positive: We'll be able to fix our one remaining car (it needs breaks, has a bad oil leak, etc.)

Negative: Uh...

Positive: Christmas will be covered for sure.

Positive: HUGE weight off my shoulders, and our finances with the car out of our hair...which means we can, in fact, go through with the SSI appeal.

Paycheck to paycheck

This entire article is exceedingly true for our family. We haven't started going to the food pantry yet...but it has been in my thoughts. Wal-Mart reducing it's prices are about the only thing keeping us (somewhat) afloat right now:

Groceries paycheck to paycheck

SSI update

Well, we got the second denial today. The one for Molly (as we were expecting it to be). This time, though...all I could do was laugh. They claimed that the medical evidence supported a good rate of growth currently (not a total lie, I suppose)...but then it said that there wasn't any problem with her communication and that she was 100% intelligible!!! WTF? I don't know HOW they got that, since she said NOTHING during the Speech Evaluation...and I certainly never said anything like that in response to the questions she asked me!!

I have called a lawyer and have an appointment on the 29th to find out if either case is viable and if they'll take me on. Keep the fingers crossed!

On another bad note. K had her nutritionist appointment today. She has lost ANOTHER 7 oz (after losing 8oz last appt). That's one pound in two months. She can't eat anymore except liquids and baby food...the poor child is starving. I don't know what they're going to do.

On that note...in the good realm, the feeding study has been moved UP to Monday thanks to a fluke w/ scheduling!! So, Monday we have our feeding study...hopefully they can tell us SOMETHING!!

Not disabled enough...

We got one of the two SSI decisions in today's mail. The government has decided that my daughter is disabled...but not enough to receive assistance. She sees 5 specialists, can't eat properly, and receives regular speech, physical, and occcupational therapy...but she isn't disabled enough for us to get assistance for her. I was blown away. I am also broken hearted. I swore that if they turned her down, I would fight it, appeal it...but we can't afford to wait. It took them five months to come to THIS conclusion. We have gone through every last penny of savings...we do not have the money to go through a lengthy appeals process. They won. I feel completely defeated. I have to go get a job...so that we can pay our bills.

I expect Molly's decision any day now...and my optimism is gone. The eternal optimist is no longer.

I never thought I would feel this defeated this early on.

SSI Challenges

With the experience I'm currently undergoing I wanted to give some free advice to those considering applying for SSI.

If you have one than more child to apply for...do them one at a time. Applying for two children at the same time (even if their conditions are totally separate) for some reason they get run...TOGETHER...which takes TWICE AS LONG.

I applied for SSI on my girls May 7th. In 90% of cases people hear a yes or no within about 90 days, 120 at the longest. It has now been over 4 months and our cases are STILL PENDING. We are on our last penny with me having been out of work taking care of them, and in danger of losing utitilities and/or our house...and SSI is taking their sweet time. They have sent the girls for every test possible, contacted our doctors and therapists insane amounts of times and still no decision has been made.

Last week we went for the "final" (we hope) evaluation, a speech evaluation, on the 120th day of our application period...at which point the Speech Therapist informed me she had 'two weeks' before she had to have her report in. TWO WEEKS! I'm wondering how to feed my kids...and she's going to take her dear sweet time grading my daughter's evaluations.

I should have done the one I KNEW could get coverage and waited on the elder. I am pulling my hair out.

So, yes...do them one at a time, or wait a month in between...you'll wait LESS time that way...I guarantee it.